Update on More Doctor's Appointments

Well yesterday consisted of more doctor appointments, opthomolgist in the morning and audiology in the afternoon. Our pediatricain likes all children adopted internationally to do this. I will say that audiology was a breeze. Grace thought it was fun hearing the different sounds come through the speakers at different pitches and laughed when they rewarded her acknowledgemnt of the sounds with surprise pig oinking or sheep baaing (or how ever you spell that) behind what starts out as a dark box but lights up. Her hearing is normal.

The vision appointment was torture! It took a couple times to dilate her eyes (hard to do on Asians). Then the exam was torture as I held her bound and she screamed. She even would flip her eyelids inside out so she could not see her pupils (like how do you do that?).

All that saying. Most days I do not think of her special need. I do not think about surgeries. I just love her and think of her as a normal, beautiful little girl. Then I go to these appointments, or I get a strange look or questions and I am reminded of what others see and the reality of what could possibly lie ahead. It breaks my heart. This precious little girl has fought her whole life and I don’t want her to have to fight any more battles (okay here come the tears). So I could tell the look of this doctor and she asked about her condition and she gave me a strange look when I gave the diagnosis and when she looked at her scares. She thought she had some other disease ( I forget the name) and said she was going to talk to Dr. Douglass before I left and also thought I should have an MRI done before I went to Wake Forest. All that to say after talking to Dr. Douglass who confirmed Wake Forest doctor would do all the scans and would not limit to her throat, mouth, face but also get behind her eyes and the brain – the whole head, she was okay. I told her this little girl has been to enough doctors I would rather do that once. From what Dr. Douglass said they have to put her to sleep for that anyway to keep them this age still for an hour and half – we’ll see. She said sometimes these cysts can wrap around vital organs like her eyes or brain - okay now I can feel the panic strike me, all my worst fears! I thought I was going to puke! I thought NO! NO NO NO ! I will not claim that for her, I will not speak that for her, I will not bury my child one day, I will not even entertain this! She did change her mind by end of appointment and tell me that she didn’t think was that disease because she did not have any of the other signs. Like then shut your mouth and you are an opthomoligist! I guess good she cared and pushed but my nerves were undone.

As for her eyes, normal front and middle. She said the back of the eye has a nerve that is pink normally, her’s is a little dull or something like that. Which she said could have been from birth, going without oxygen for some amount of time. One was a little worse than the other side, but didn’t seem to be concerned either were bad. She wants to see her again in 6 months so we go back in February. I think just to see if looks the same and can confirm not getting worse and is just a birth issue. But if the MRI shows something different that she gets from Wake Forest, like a cyst back there putting pressure on it causing it then I will be called to come in earlier.

So there you have it…


Please just pray for her when she comes to mind…I know God is holding her, this stuff is just hard and I know will get harder,and I will need you all!